The power of words.


A post on Facebook the other day lead me to have a delayed reaction to it, even through it has been in the news and my tag line on my homepage says ‘Stop blaming victims’. I had to sit and pause. I had to pass through the triggering stage that a victim goes through when reading something like this. All victims have this response. A trigger is like a gun going off in your head, you find yourself back in the medical room with a doctor swabbing your private parts that are now public parts, and everyone now has a right to talk about those parts of you while you lay on the gurney with a room full of people. There is only one person that you really know, with you in the room because she is your support person that the detective ‘let’ you bring with you. From that moment on your life is about everybody else talking about your private parts, it has now become public and all of a sudden everybody else decides what happens to your private parts and feel the need to even question if they are real or not. Consent becomes a word that is deconstructed daily for years to come. Everybody has an opinion on the word ‘consent’. Yet no one really wants to hear your opinion on any of this. From the moment the rape happens, you become a voiceless walking dead zombie without consent and a tattoo on your forehead that says ‘victim’ for everyone to read and it makes it easier for further perpetrators to find you. Then a new word is added to your vocabulary, it is called ‘intention’, you find this new word is part of the law that also defines your new life. This new word ‘intention’ is about them and what they did to you, but very quickly it becomes part of who you are because they made it that way. All these words do is strip you even more of your power and identity. Your words mean nothing compared to your perpetrators, the detectives, and the law. So now, you are stripped of your cloths, your identity, and your power and now you lose the power of your own words. All of a sudden, it is all about everyone else and nothing about you. The main person, who has the right to words, is the perpetrator. He, just as in that moment when he raped you, now has all the power again. He has the right to be heard, he has the right to be innocent, and he has the right to have all the services given to him without question or debate. He has many people defending him, from his family to total strangers including women who should know better but are stuck in ‘the need to seek approval from men’, and you have to listen to them as well because they have a right to a voice and words as well. Where ever the crime happened becomes a crime scene, if it is your home, then it is no longer your home, it becomes a crime scene with tape all over it, which feels like it has taped up your voice as well. Therefore, another new word is ‘homeless’, because it will never be a home again. Some times you will get your so-called ‘day in court’, were you are stripped of EVERYTHING. Sometimes you will not, because their words had more power than your words. Therefore, you start your life sentence, a sentence without words. A sentence without words feels like an oxymoron and that about sums up how it all feels.Screenshot_20170604-073848


It’s not what you think

As a Gen x this sums it up perfectly how we are feeling.

The First Ten Words by Rich Larson

Chris Cornell, 1964-2017

Chris Cornell died early Thursday morning. His band Soundgarden played a show on Wednesday night at the Fox Theater in Detroit. Two hours after the show ended, he was gone.

For two days, I’ve been working on a piece to pay tribute to him, and it’s been a struggle. Usually when I have a problem like this it’s because I’m staring at a blank screen trying to figure out what I want to say. That’s not the problem this time. The problem is I have way too much to say.

I’m not going to sit here and claim to have been a huge fan of Soundgarden. I didn’t dislike them, I just had to take them in small doses. I was a fan of Cornell. I love “Seasons,” the solo song he had on Cameron Crowe’s movie, Singles. It’s a droning acoustic song about isolation and the…

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Apologies still outstanding

Site Title


As we check the post again to find an empty mailbox we can’t help but wonder what happened to the apologies that we were supposed to get as requested by the Mental Health Commissioner.

Almost four  years after Ross’ suicide the Mental Health Commissioner delivered his findings that the clinical care was a significant deviation from expected standards.


  • 16 February 2017  the report came out. They had one month to write their apologies.
  • 16 March 2017  no apology received.
  • 10 April 2017 the report went public on HDC website
  • Today is 20 May 2017 (three months later) and we just heard from the Commissioner that they are reviewing recent correspondence from Dr Richard Mullen and the Southern DHB hence the delay.

I can think of a few scenarios why there is a delay in our apologies more than four years after Ross died…..

  • They retracted their apologies.
  • They changed their…

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Art of Friendship

What we all need right now…

Steve McCurry's Blog

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.

– Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Luoyang, China

Myanmar (Burma)

There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship. 

– Thomas Aquinas

Loikaw, Myanmar (Burma)

There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends.
I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.
– Jane Austen


A true friend freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly,
takes all patiently, defends courageously, and
continues a friend unchangeably.

– William Penn


Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work.
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
– Ecclesiastes 4

Pagan, Myanmar (Burma)

Katmandu, Nepal


Chiang Mai, Thailand

Kampala, Uganda

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand,
not the kindly smile…

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The King and The Cross.


Ode to being in your late 20’s in the 90’s

Were one becomes bored with the landscape

And decides to venture forth to foreign lands

A head full of concurring other people’s cultures

Knowing you could be like other Kiwi’s from the antipodes

Therefore, you jump into a tin can with wings

The excitement almost too much to bear

Dumping your bags in the backpackers

Without even a proper look at the room

One rushes out into the night, for a stiff drink or two

You meet a chap standing by a corner

And ask him about a famous bar you had heard of, does he know where it is?

Due to your small Island culture you ask him to come along

Whilst playing pool, you are neither in front of the eight ball, or even behind it

As you both realize that you both have a lot in common

He asks if you would like to partake in a taste of heroin

Your not so long ago past pops up and says

“oh yes please, that would be rather splendid”

One has immediately forgotten the four treatment centers it took to weave your way out of

How in one of them you passed a girl in the hallway on the phone asking her Daddy to send in a helicopter to get her the hell out of there,

And when you asked her if you could hitch a ride she screamed the hallowed walls down

Three days later the glorious sea washes you up onto the grass behind the police station

In the Kings Cross

Where there is no King or Cross in sight

Only a lot of other homeless Kiwi’s

Your commonality glues you together

Along with all the other cultures that lost the battle with the King and the Cross

One becomes simply another invisible person to all passes by

Therefore, you sit up and paint a face to hide a face

Unaware of who is looking back at you in the mirror

It was going to take a lot of cash to keep the beautiful ocean of heroin running through your veins

In the land of the long white cloud

One could strut about like a pink flamingo

Use your wit and charm to anchor in a John

Whereas off from the King and the Cross

Were the Pot has a Point

One has to stand in line and strike a pose

You are introduced by your chosen name

Waiting to get plucked from obscurity

There is no rock to sit on and sing your song to pull them in

Thankfully, more population means more cliental

But alas no William in sight to Tell

Those whom bear the cross

Would try to burden you with its weight

As you sink into the soft grass

Whilst the needle rest gently beside you

As it has woven a new tapestry

All the way down to your soul

Your bones walk to the exchange

Were a nurse gives you a shiny new kit with needles for your tapestry

One does not lift their head to look into their eyes

Because then you would see your broken soul reflected back in theirs

You watch the King taking up the battle for the Cross

The Italian brigades are winning a lost fight

You jump the rails to Cabramatta

Were the Terracotta Army stands strong amidst  the war

Your eyes linger on the ground

But this time,only as a sign of respect

As you place the powder by your heart

While you read the writing on the wall

Painted in stark colours

One needs to rest so you can swim again

You stay in the land of the Terracotta Army

In a house with no walls

The guns begin to frighten you

So the shelter posts you back to where you came from

Washing back up a completely different person

The landscape is moving from a water-colour to an oil painting

As the fabric of your tapestry has no need for thread  and needle anymore

The thimble has  been buried

There is no more mystery about Love and War.


Jazzy Bell  October 2010.


What Vivienne Westwood taught me about a sustainable life and the weight of water.


I have just finished reading the biography about Vivienne Westwood written in 2014, and I feel deeply inspired and thoughtful, especially because of the state of the planet because I am also a grandmother and I worry a lot about the world that my grandson will inherit. Water is now as rare as diamonds, by that I mean clean, safe to drink water. North Dakota is shining a light on this as well with the protest that is happening there.

I first felt a sense of fear about  drinkable water when I was living in Istanbul, Turkey in 2003 .There was no drinkable water, all water had to be bought into the apartment via huge containers and the taps in the kitchen and bathroom were there just for decoration. I was told never to use them, even for washing the dishes we had to use bottled water and boil the jug. Coming from New Zealand this was difficult for me to get my head around. That is until recently when a neighbouring town had an experience of contaminated water bores that lead to over 5000 people getting very ill from the drinking water and 2 people died and several cases of Gillian Barr syndrome reported as a direct result from this contamination.

This led me to think about water and how now the weight of water feels very heavy on my chest. The first time I experienced that sensation was when my cousin tried to drown me in the water race that was on the farm near my house. My cousin had a family batch next to our house and would stay for some of the holidays. It was in that water race my first alter was born, she is 3 years old, and her name is baby Jane. The word cousin has the word sin in it and my cousin was trying to wash away the sin of what he had just done to me by trying to drown me.

Water has many meanings. Water can do many things, it can sustain life, it can take life away, and at the same time, it can birth new life.

Everyone has a different perception about water, from an individual through to a businessperson. A businessperson’s perception will cloud the water from an economic perspective and an individual will have a multitude of different perceptions about water now being as rare as diamonds.


What one person sees when looking at the same diamond in front of them is coloured by their own perception. So therefore, if you put two people in front of the diamond, they are the exact same age, same date of birth and female. Both parties will see the diamond differently, both will see the colours differently, both will see the shading and light differently, both will see the refraction differently, both people will have different dreams, memories and reflections associated with viewing the exact same diamond in front of both their eyes. Both of them will be having different thoughts about the diamond at that exact same time in that moment in time, even if parts of their thoughts have a common thread, they will both not be having the exact same thoughts attached to the diamond at that moment in time.


For me to be one of the two people viewing the diamond is a problem, because for me I have seven other people whom at the exact same time are viewing the same diamond.


All my seven people are of different age groups, so therefore, this affects their age group view on perception and all seven have all had very different lives. For a very long time they were unknown to me, while I was losing time, they went about living their life, and collecting their very own experiences, that has a part to play in their perception.


One likes art more than another, all have different tastes in music, all read differently, some are more dyslexic than the rest, and they all like very different movies. Some like to garden more, two just want to sit on their bum watching TV all day, two hate that we walk everywhere. All have a sweet disposition, some more bubbly than the rest when interacting with other people. Intelligence is different due to the age difference, which is annoying. All love physics, four more than the others do, and the rest are aware of the importance of physics, or sociology or anthropology and philosophy, or see the connection of them all.


So if I was in front of a diamond with another person in the room at the exact same time viewing a diamond. My others would affect my perception of viewing the said diamond.


Perception is a major roadblock in life and like a dam on a river, there is cracks in the research left floating around it. It is a field that has people either sinking or swimming with the tide. The business model for information that is projected out to the public is controlled by the perception of mainstream media. The perception of Christians that climate change does not exist leaks far out into the world. This leads to the dumbing down plague that is infecting and contamination of us like most of the water on the planet. The public’s perception is now shadowed by this like a dark thunderous cloud.


The commerce model poses questions about ownership. Bottled water now is a highly tradable commodity. The word sustainable now has more meaning than ever before in this throw away world that we have inherited and bought into, only to pass onto our grandchildren. Indeed, it is such a sad way to live within the constraints of sustainability, to have to change ones perspective and embrace this new way of life is not easy or comfortable. Nevertheless, the concept has been around for many centuries.


The American Indians from North Dakota are shining a light on this with the protest over the oil pipeline. Since I was 15 years old, I have been carrying around with me a poster written by Chief Seattle in 1854, called ‘The Earth is Precious’.

I feel deeply that Chief Seattle’s wise words, which have been described as ‘the most beautiful and profound statement on the environment ever made’ need to be spoken by everyone at this time in history, before it is too late.


Chief Seattle also said ‘How can you buy or sell the sky, the warmth of the land? If you do not own the freshness of the air and the sparkle of the water, how can you buy them?


In this chaotic world and life in cities, I adore his reminder of the most important things in life; ‘The clatter only seems to insult the ears, and what is there in life if a man cannot hear the argument of the frogs around a pond at night? The Indian prefers the soft sound of the wind itself, cleaned by a midday rain, or scented with the pinon pine’… These words are a reminder of what is important; Mother Earth needs to be honoured before as Chief Seattle said ‘Where is the thicket? Gone.

Where is the eagle? Gone.

The end of living and the beginning of survival’.






Living with poverty post the economic collapse.

As I am writing this, the New Zealand Government is having an emergency session at parliament to change the rules around government owned land. They are wanting to make it easier to sell it all off, which means it can be put into the public sector for building developers to buy it and then they can easily ‘Land Bank’ this land, it can sit there while they wait for the value of that land to go up. The Auckland house market has just reached the status of the average house now being valued at one million dollars. Land banking is making this situation worse.  When a government sells state houses, built to house the less advantaged families, what does that say about a government?

When forced off your land to move further afield and yet the cost of petrol and parking means this does not equal your income. What are families supposed to do? How does one then have time to spend with their family in the hope of having a good relationship and grow so called productive children, when all of your time is spent travelling to work and stressed about the cost of living.

Added to this is the high cost of food. When the food prices go up it is more difficult to make healthy food decisions. With bad food choices comes bad health as we have being seeing for quite some time now. This leads to higher stress and very bad health, which then leads to an already overloaded heath service that is underfunded for far too long. When a hospital has to ask charities to help them raise money for vital equipment, we are then in big trouble as a country.

Mental health crisis’s are on the rise, with suicides nearing the status of being our number one killer, and when asked about their wellbeing in the build up to taking their lives, research has shown it is because of stress in nearly all of them.

The great divide between the political left and right feeds these problems. The terms left and right were coined during the French Revolution (1789-1799). People of left leanings which in this country means Labour and Green Party supporters, generally care about housing, health, the environment, social issues, social equality and egalitarianism and have concern for people whom they perceive as disadvantaged relative to others. People on the left support trade unions and believe in government intervention in the economy. Social progressivism is important to people of the left, supporting the abolition of all slavery, voting rights, civil rights, multiculturalism and supporting same sex marriage etc.

Right wing politics hold and believe that social stratification and social inequality are inevitable, natural, normal, or desirable, typically defending the position based on natural law, economics, or tradition. Hierarchy and inequality may be viewed as natural results of traditional social differences or competition in market economics, beliefs in the so-called free market and individual initiative.  Right wing libertarians do not like limits to personal freedom or anything leading to social uniformity and mediocrity. Some even see individualism as harmful to society. The book, The Selfish Gene, by Richard Dawkins seems to fit well with people of the right wing.

Only registered voters have a voice when it comes to any change being able to happen. A problem that can arise from a housing crisis is that people are forced to move a lot and this can lead to being left off a local voting register, especially when a post office chargers so much for a change of address. To have a voice we all need to vote with our feet, either in the national election in November next year (2017) so we can have a change of government, or another option is that it takes 10% of all registered voters to call for a referendum, this is in our constitution, and we must all always remember that.