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The problem with the suicide prevention paradigm is there has been no shift for decades.

The problems with suicide prevention services and by that I mean all of them, from Social Workers, Councilors, Psychologists, Psychiatrists and All Government Departments, is that they all feel it is far more important to cover their own butts than to allow a client to talk about their suicidality, if they are so inclined or feel the need to.
Continue reading The problem with the suicide prevention paradigm is there has been no shift for decades.

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My Life in Cafes from 1985-2005.

My first real café experience was a café called Te Kano Café in Wanaka, Central Otago. It was the mid 1980’s, during my teenage years, I went to the café off and on until I was 18 and left Wanaka forever. The café had the most beautiful atmosphere and food. I went there with my first love an 18-year-old boy called Dylan, his family where house truckers and had moved in next door. Dylan’s father was an artist and they were all hippies. Once when we were sitting on the cushions, on the floor at a low table in the café Dylan gave me a friendship ring, I thought I would die with excitement and the fact that the magic mushrooms were kicking in and lift off was imminent. Continue reading My Life in Cafes from 1985-2005.

My #Metoo story written by the journalist, Alison Mau.

He said, she said: How we might tackle changes to our sexual consent laws https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/119484045/he-said-she-said-how-we-might-tackle-changes-to-our-sexual-consent-laws      The above link has the full story and the video content as well. This story was first written a year ago when my depression was peaking and I piled on the weight. This photo is shattering my low self esteem to see. I am just pleased it has finally being published. JOHN COWPLAND Jazmine Bell complained to police that she was raped in 2004 but police insisted they couldn’t prosecute. The forensic evidence was eventually destroyed. Should “no means no” be changed to “only yes … Continue reading My #Metoo story written by the journalist, Alison Mau.

Sex Work in New Zealand.

I believe New Zealand has the best model for Sex Worker’s. Sex Work was decriminalized here in 2003. I spoke in this short documentary made about the time that the law change happened here, about how Sex Worker’s now have more rights, for instance I lost custody of my daughter due to being a Sex Worker before the law change and now that would not happen. There has been a rise of global discussions about Sex Worker rights and many countries are looking at there own laws. Also the global rise in migration and the movement of people has lead … Continue reading Sex Work in New Zealand.

I Am Still Here

I write that tile and have a tidal wave of emotions overwhelm me. I am only still here because nearly three weeks ago I was put back into the mental health system after being discharged over 9 years ago. I am on a new anti-depressant, sleeping pills, and Valium for anxiety. A couple of weeks ago a police sergeant sat in my living room, when he walked in he said “wow, your house is beautiful”, I said thank you, whilst I held my phone, which was on speaker phone, so the crisis worker who had called me via the direction … Continue reading I Am Still Here

Cire Trudon

I just walked into the bathroom and out the corner of my eye I saw the box for my Cire Trudon candle. I had brought my candle over ten years ago from the World shop on Victoria Street, in Wellington, New Zealand. There is no other candle in the world that smells like this, with smells come memories. I often wonder what happens to other people when they look at an object? Do they just see what is in front of them or do they experience the tidal wave of memories as well? Do they let it just wash over them, or do they wash up to when it happened? In my experience it appears that it takes about twenty years for memories to just be memories without attachments. Continue reading Cire Trudon