A small child has moved in next door The story so far is that she appears happy Her father is not with her mother, he is with a new women They are both in their 20’s I can hear an … Continue reading Stabat Mater dolorosa
Unspoken words left lingering in the air Now stale from all the air that has been sucked out of them Was it a mistake? Was it just madness? Words hold so much power when left unspoken Minutes, hours, days and … Continue reading Pizza and Binaural Beats.
Right girls we need a conference call now, this madness needs to be processed and stopped before it gets anymore out of control. Melissa “yes I agree, we all need to talk” Jazzy “yes I will keep notes” Rachael “oh … Continue reading A conference call
Lines meeting Lines colliding Lines crashing Lines lying Lines meeting many times over So many lines were almost crossed Lines put on hold Lines paused Lines that were really about you and had nothing to do with me Lines written … Continue reading Lines
When the Commissioner and facilitator finally left the house, Cassandra looked over to Leonard and told him that something major needed to change. Cassandra knew that for her very survival she needed to move towns, as the one she was … Continue reading Wind turbines
The commissioner sat at the other end of the table His head was bowed, was this a form of respect or just a better way to listen? The candles of five different colours flickered in the breeze that was coming … Continue reading The Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in State Care.
Some days like today I need the poetry of Charles Bukowski to full the spaces in my overly busy mind. I know he was an angry aggressive twat. When I step outside of that and really listen, I hear a … Continue reading Some days
The problems with suicide prevention services and by that I mean all of them, from Social Workers, Councilors, Psychologists, Psychiatrists and All Government Departments, is that they all feel it is far more important to cover their own butts than to allow a client to talk about their suicidality, if they are so inclined or feel the need to.
Continue reading The problem with the suicide prevention paradigm is there has been no shift for decades.
My first real café experience was a café called Te Kano Café in Wanaka, Central Otago. It was the mid 1980’s, during my teenage years, I went to the café off and on until I was 18 and left Wanaka forever. The café had the most beautiful atmosphere and food. I went there with my first love an 18-year-old boy called Dylan, his family where house truckers and had moved in next door. Dylan’s father was an artist and they were all hippies. Once when we were sitting on the cushions, on the floor at a low table in the café Dylan gave me a friendship ring, I thought I would die with excitement and the fact that the magic mushrooms were kicking in and lift off was imminent. Continue reading My Life in Cafes from 1985-2005.
The wonders of the world are the morning stars singing together The waves of the ocean rolling over me The treasures of the snow and the treasures of the hail The waterfalls Lightning, thunder, and the rain The herbs springing … Continue reading The Wonders of the World
Living alone in a lock-down Isolation has a different meaning when it is something you spent most of your life doing Spent the first few months alive in an orphanage Too sick to be adopted Grief is in the marrow … Continue reading Living alone in a Lockdown
Just mulling over life, the universe and everything, as one does whilst drinking wine and chatting with friends and thinking about the Lockdown that New Zealand has been placed into. I just asked a friend of mine who lives in … Continue reading How to cope with Covid-19 anxiety
He said, she said: How we might tackle changes to our sexual consent laws https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/119484045/he-said-she-said-how-we-might-tackle-changes-to-our-sexual-consent-laws The above link has the full story and the video content as well. This story was first written a year ago when my depression was peaking and I piled on the weight. This photo is shattering my low self esteem to see. I am just pleased it has finally being published. JOHN COWPLAND Jazmine Bell complained to police that she was raped in 2004 but police insisted they couldn’t prosecute. The forensic evidence was eventually destroyed. Should “no means no” be changed to “only yes … Continue reading My #Metoo story written by the journalist, Alison Mau.
She remembers She remembers some things Like dancing on the beach The wind in her hair The movement of her dress Her feet in the sand Your knee, which she gently touched Only for a moment Without your permission But … Continue reading She remembers
I sit on the fence, observing you You watch me wash my hair I hide behind my hair as I do not want you to really see me The roof falls down from the weight of the water and … Continue reading The Mirror
Drowning Drowning in emotions and feelings Lost all sense of direction as our compass broke in the storm Wanting to drown The parade is calling us, they are so loud It is loud, so loud all eleven can hear it … Continue reading Drowning
Some days Facebook can be a minefield, today is one of them. I have just copied and pasted from a sexual abuse support page called Help, what they wrote in response to an article written about the mothers of … Continue reading When a disorder gets misunderstood
We just came out to the shed to visit the long green snake, He is our new best friend, He is tied up in a perfect shaped knot, We must call him a name soon, so far Saki fits best
Continue reading The snake in the shed.
They stare at the screen
It fades to black before they do
Their heart is not read
Because no one is that well read Continue reading screens
I believe New Zealand has the best model for Sex Worker’s. Sex Work was decriminalized here in 2003. I spoke in this short documentary made about the time that the law change happened here, about how Sex Worker’s now have more rights, for instance I lost custody of my daughter due to being a Sex Worker before the law change and now that would not happen. There has been a rise of global discussions about Sex Worker rights and many countries are looking at there own laws. Also the global rise in migration and the movement of people has lead … Continue reading Sex Work in New Zealand.
I just wrote a poem for New Zealands National Poetry Week. Continue reading Drafted
I write that tile and have a tidal wave of emotions overwhelm me. I am only still here because nearly three weeks ago I was put back into the mental health system after being discharged over 9 years ago. I am on a new anti-depressant, sleeping pills, and Valium for anxiety. A couple of weeks ago a police sergeant sat in my living room, when he walked in he said “wow, your house is beautiful”, I said thank you, whilst I held my phone, which was on speaker phone, so the crisis worker who had called me via the direction … Continue reading I Am Still Here
I just walked into the bathroom and out the corner of my eye I saw the box for my Cire Trudon candle. I had brought my candle over ten years ago from the World shop on Victoria Street, in Wellington, New Zealand. There is no other candle in the world that smells like this, with smells come memories. I often wonder what happens to other people when they look at an object? Do they just see what is in front of them or do they experience the tidal wave of memories as well? Do they let it just wash over them, or do they wash up to when it happened? In my experience it appears that it takes about twenty years for memories to just be memories without attachments. Continue reading Cire Trudon
Dear Alison, I just walked into my studio and saw these crew passes that is a photo to Drive, only some of them as the rest were lost a long time ago. I was once again haunted by it all. I … Continue reading Dear Alison,